Don't - F*$K - with Kieran

After watching Kieran viciously destroy my good humour by spitting and regurgicating the few bites I managed to feed him on the floor, I lost my usual good temper.
His unrefined pallet, lack of taste and his inability to savour or relish quality foods, represent the very height of barbaric behaviour and a direct insult to my culinary feats. And yet, somehow, the bright eyed, self satisfied and prodigically behaving mongrel presents himself as gourmet gastronomist when tasting his foods.
After a mild reprimand I was treated to the furious wrath of a baby scorned.
A barrage of cries pitched at the regions of the brain that host pain was unleashed upon me. The yelps of anger are so powerful; they penetrate bone and made my head explode.
Don't - F*$K - with Kieran! is the hard learned lesson here.