Season's greetings

Happy Christmas and a very happy new year

Back to Europe she goes

Gni gni gni gni

Emmanuelle will fly back to Europe tomorrow and I just had to check the weather. Looks like a full 8C of soothing warmth with some refreshing rain. Probably a cheerful fog in the morning and lovely bone chilling wind that cuts through any clothes.

In sharp contrast we've had a couple of day of 30+ and the Pool temperature is just about perfect. Today is a cool 27 degrees and a bit overcast.

Emmanuelle looks at me like a child on it's first school day when I mention the fine meteorological conditions.

Think I'll go fishing and diving while she's away.

But honestly, after 2 years straight of good weather, believe it or not, it'd be nice to feel the cold again. The one on a crisp winter morning when everything is frozen.

Ironic perpetuum mobile

A shark that eats a 3 meter white shark must be some nasty piece of work. Off the coast of Straddy, where we went diving last year, a monster lurks. Last week’s journal shows pictures of an unfortunate white shark with a rather large chunk missing from its belly. It's estimated that a great white between 5 and 6 meters took a nibble.

So… what is an ironic perpetuum mobile?

1. Installing shark nets to give the illusion of protection to swimmers,
2. catching a few whales in these nets as a side effect, much to the grief of local Greenpeace hippies,
3. leaving the rotting whale carcass to to be eaten by... sharks.
4. waiting for white sharks to swim hundreds of kms to eat this delicacy,
5. hearing entrepreneurs complain to government that tourists stay away from the beaches,
6. go to 1.

While we're on the topic... Here are all the nasties here in Australia. Have a look at the Irukandji... that is a little bastard.

Spiders
Funnel web Spider, Red Back spider.

Snakes
Black snake, Copperhead, Death Adder, Eastern Brown, Fierce snake, Small eyed snake, Mulga snake, Taipan, Tiger snake, Western Brown, Stephen's banded snake.

Jelly Fish
Irukandji, Box Jelly fish

Sharks
Tiger shark, Bull Shark, White shark

Other
Salt Water Crocodile, Giant sting ray, Stone fish, Blue ring octopus, Cone Snail, Kangaroos (believe it or not, they kill about 100 people per year).

Lake Mackenzy

Lake Mackenzy is made of very clear fresh water that warms as the day progresses. It is very pretty, the warning sign: beware of the Dingo's don't leave you small children unattended get our attention. Then again, I blame any dingo trying to take our son with my wife jealously guarding him. The dingo that attempts this, and probably its entire race, would suffer the consequences of a postal woman. This should be enough deterrent for any animal with a basic brain function.

To get there you need a fourbie and as I have one, we go. We had been warned that it was 'pretty bad out there'. But that doesn't deter us. After 200 meters we look at each other with a nervous smile and ask, should we turn back? The holes in the road are up to 1 meter, and some climbs and descends are as steep as the drop of the US dollar recently. My fantastic Fourbie has no trouble negotiating these and we push on.

The return road is sandy and we get bogged. A Giant off-road bus full of young tourist stops behind us, and 20 people offer their help to push us out. while the remaining 5 people take pictures and laugh.

I make it for about 200 meters before I get bogged again. Kieran all the while quiet in the back of the car, now wonders what the hell is going on and says "Weh?". I reply, "yeah mate, we're bogged again", Kieran Says "Wah!". Good kid.

Emma's birtday on Fraser

Emmanuelle's birthday needs to be celebrated, and as my lovely wife deserved a fantastic weekend I started planning many weeks ago. We try to keep a list of things to do here in oz before our visa run out. One of those things was Fraser Island. The award winning kingfisher bay resort to be exact.

We can't get enough of the whales and as they are leaving us for Antartica we decide to go once more. We are treated to the special! Mum allows young bub to breach again and again, and the splash of the whale makes to the boat. Whhooossshhh.

We have been taught by another ship that if you wave at a whale sometimes they wave back. Emmanuelle waves like if her life depended on it. Other guests look at her as if she's lost it until all of the sudden both the baby whale and mum wave back at us. Some people come and ask us if it really works, but when the whales wave back the 4th time everyone is convinced.

(this really works, you won't believe it until you see it with your own eyes). The crowd quickly realises what had happened and feverishly start waving like Emmanuelle. Not sure who's entertaining who at this stage.

As a dinner I invited Emma to a Bush Tucker meal. Kangaroo (delicious), Emu (not so good), Crocodile (delicious). We ate many berries. The thing with Australian fruit is that the ground is very poor, so the fruit doesn’t grow large or plenty full. But what it lacks in quantity it makes up in flavour. Very rich menthol, anis, citrus and pepper flavours. Some of them downright spicy.

The amazing travelling baby!

Today we're going to see the whales. It's inexpensive and a nice day on the water. It's a cool 28C and the whales are here to party, we see them breach a few times and the Mother and young calf enjoy playing in the water. (The picture isn't mine as I couldn't get a good picture because I'm a crap photographer).

To test Kieran's ability to fly we hire a small water plane to go and see the whales and dolphins from the sky. The Pilot says he'll put the picture on his website. I ask for Air miles in return. (Didn’t get them :)

I've been everywhere, man!

As I'm working in Port Macquarie this week -including the weekend- Emma decided to join me. It's a 9 hour drive south from Brisbane and as Kieran is used to the car (4000 km just a week ago) it was considered a medium range drive. Besides, you didn't think Emma would stay in the same place for more than 48 hours did you? She drove down and took pictures of her in front of big things. Big Banana, Big Prawn, Big Clogs.

I’m jealous now, as it looks like a nice drive.

Riverfire

Riverfire is a yearly city-wide fireworks to celebrate Brisbane and the River. (We don't need much to celebrate here) The fireworks can compete with Sydney's and this year was bigger and better than ever before. This year was a special one as this was the last time ever that the F1-11 flies over Brisbane doing a fuel dump. The noise is so loud that your body vibrates because of it. Kieran slept through the entire thing.

We had to walk 8 minutes from our home to get to the best vantage point in the city. I love our apartment and its location.

Birdsville races

On the map of Queensland, it says 'famous hotel'. Brian, the fierce looking, soft spoken manager of the Birdsville hotel welcomes us. He has been planning this event for a year and seems completely on top of things.

Just to give you an idea of how friendly people living here are: They drove up a baby cot from the next town (360KMs away). They gave us a couple of bottles of wine, they came to ask every day how we were doing and invited us to eat with the crew.

The races are something to behold: The Birdsville races: where the dust never settles. In the sweltering heat of the Simpson Desert horses race in a cloud of dust. Bookies from all over Australia are yelling numbers to get people to bet.

We drove out to ‘big red’ the largest red-sand dune in the Simpson Desert. Not the smartest thing to do, as it’s a 2 hour drive on a “road” with a warning sign: Travel on these roads is dangerous; you must warn the authorities of your destination and expected arrival. We cheerfully ignore the message and make it to ‘big red’.

We make many new friends, We're invited to NSW and VIC whenever we like.

We lose money as we're no good at betting on horses.

We drink litres and litres of water.

We (have to) show Kieran to every woman out here in the desert.

Outback boxing

Fred Brophy is an institution; he runs the last boxing tent in the world, or so he claims. A tent where amateurs can volunteer to box a few rounds against some pretty mean professional boxers. It's where you can see a 120 kgs farm hand being floored in the first round by a feather weight champion.

Two guys, dressed up as super heroes, volunteer to box a tag-team match. Fred tells them 'You're laughing now, but you won't be in a minute, I can tell you that!'. And indeed, within 30 seconds both of them have bleeding noses and are not laughing. Within 45 seconds one falls to the ground semi-KO. The crowd cheers and yells. The match is over.

Next up is one of two brothers drunk out of his mind, he has a hard time standing at all. The crowd expects them to go down in the first 4 seconds... it takes 2 seconds. But what's this? He stands up, BANG! nope, he's down again... Alcohol keeps him going, because he tries again... Boom, BOOM... Down he goes again.The crowd now yells: 'Stay down mate! don't get up!'.

Unfortunately this is not the brightest kid in town and he stands up again. The professional boxer is getting annoyed and bestows a salvo of uppercuts on the unfortunate cowboys chin, followed by volley of punches to the head. This would have floored a horse. But... to the amazement of the crowd the kid stands up again... Fred looks puzzled and ends the match.

The middle of nowhere

With the air conditioning set to 'SubZeroFreeze', Barbados dance music set to 'AreYouDeafYet' and Cruise Control set to 'DesertBlazing' we cruise through the outback. The dust cloud behind us can be seen from space and we are making good time on atrocious unsealed tracks leading to one of the world’s best parties: The Birdsville races.

The Birdsville races have existed since 1882 and grow bigger every year. It all boils down to an all Australian outback piss up where everyone is everyone else's friend.

Everybody knows what the outback is, but no one really knows where it is. So just to make sure there's no discussion whether this is the outback, Birdsville was chosen for the event.

We make good time and work through the 1700 kms and get there if the afternoon of the 2nd day. Kieran had to endure a make-shift bath...

Kieran's life

Crapped my pants,

took a nap,

sucked on some titties.

How was your day?

Birdsville races

Come the first weekend of September about 6000 Aussies descend on Birdsville for a weekend of hard drinking and gambling on horse races. It is the single most famous Australian piss up and it made the top 20 in my “Best Parties in the World book”. I had pretty much given up on ever being able to visit this cultural event as there are just 10 rooms in the hotel of the town that counts 120 souls which is booked out for the next 2 years. Camping with a baby would have been possible but it does get really cold and really hot in the desert. Besides it is a 24 hour drive on atrocious roads in the middle of the outback.

But lucky Bassie got lucky by participating in an e-bay auction to get 3 nights, all entries to all races, boxing ring, and evening entertainment. I won! I was even on the radio and have been called to confirm. Once there I’ll be interviewed live! Poor Kieran though. He’ll be bouncing for 2x 24 hours in a fourbie in the sweltering heat of the desert (that's like driving to southern Spain from the Netherlands for the weekend).

Aussie things

Two truly Australian things are: Vegemite and Australian football.

Vegemite is THE single most Australian product in the world. It tastes foul and only Australians have developed a taste for it. Jerome's reaction was "Aw damn!" and Stephane said "That's awful". In the Australian national museum you'll find Vegemite jars dating back to the 1920's, and every Aussie knows the song:

We're happy little Vegemites
As bright as bright can be.
We all enjoy our Vegemite
For breakfast, lunch and tea.
Our Mummies say we're growing stronger
Every single week
Because we love our Vegemite.
We all adore our Vegemite.
IT PUTS A ROSE IN EVERY CHEEK!
We're growing stronger every week!

Australian Football is a fun sport. It comes down to:
1. Kick, disfigure, maim and kill anyone who has the ball.
2. If you have the ball, run like the wind in the general direction of the goal.

You'll need to drink a few beers, eat a couple of dogs during the 3 hours the entire session. Footy as the Aussies call it is played in 4 halves of 25 mins each. At the end of the game, the public is invited on the field to kick a few balls themselves.

Gold Coast Surfers

While hunting for a parking spot I see a spot being freed up. Someone is waiting, but I wrangle my car in there. The chauffeur and passenger of the waiting car are unhappy and yell profanities to underline their unhappiness but do not insist as we are 4 and they are 2. I'm such a bastard :). But had they not lost their temper, I would have made a spot for the both of us as there was enough space for 2.

The Gold Coast beach looks fabulous and we can't wait to go surfing. Emma opts for the more relaxed Gold Coast experience and naps for a bit.

We surf, we see whales breach in the distance, we drink a bottle of wine from the Barossa region and walk on the beach.

Fourbie on Moreton

I bought a fourbie for two good reasons, to look cool and to take it on the beach. This weekend Stephane and Jerome were visiting us. So a perfect excuse to drive on the beautiful beaches. We're in the middle of winter so temperatures are about 28C (a bit warm the time of the year).

Driving along the water, it’s a 25km drive, we see dolphins close to shore. Why not try to swim with them and sure enough, one dolphin came to see us. Stephane and Jerome are ecstatic. We do a little fishing, drink a couple of XXXX beers, through the boomerang around and enjoy the glorious day.

I love my little car. Nothing really stops it except very deep tracks where the bottom of the car touches the sand. It's a great feeling ploughing through the sand. Then again, it takes a bit of XXXX-courage to put a brand new car through bad terrain.