Gold Coast and Surfers Paradise

One hour’s drive south of Brisbane is Surfers Paradise. A very touristic place with enormous buildings (70 storey +). One thing missing though are the Surfers! The crystal blue waves are beautiful and waiting to be ridden by surfers, but none to be seen. Very weird. Surfers Paradise and no Surfers, what’s going on here?
We didn’t like Surfers Paradise very much and chose to go a little more south. We did well! We arrived at almost desolate golden beaches with perfect blue water. After a long swim and severe sunburn we went for a delicious barbeque with a view. Walking back to the car we got stopped by a clan of people barbequing. They offered us beer, asked if we knew the Australian Anthem and sang it to us. Kind of weird having 20 people sing out loud to us. Luckily they had beer as we soon felt more at ease :o). Of course, they played cricket and demanded I bat a couple of balls. I have got to learn this game. And Yeah I hit the ball! It went flying into the dunes.
On the drive back we saw more beautiful beaches, nice forests, colorful birds, (not only talking about the animals mate).

Celebrate what’s great… mate

Australia day: Something like Queen’s day in the Netherland only the local color isn’t orange it’s blue but the people are just as crazy. We arrive at festivities location where beer flows freely and people are singing. Soon after I arrive I purchase a very fast cockroach for the cocky races. It’ll run in the 1pm race under the name I have given it during a short ceremony: “I dub thee Rolls Roach, may thy runnings be fast and may thy sprints be swift”. Rolls will run in the Seventh Race as the 15th entrant. By the way my name was respectably chosen as opposed to others: “Big Black Cocky, 12 inch Cocky, Circumcised Cocky”… You get the picture. Ok, so hundreds of people are sitting around the roach running arena and the names are announced to the great amusement of the crowd (“Rolls Roach” got a few laughs and some “aw that’s smart”). The roaches are marched in under the sound of bagpipes and drums. And after a loud 5…4…3…2…1… GO! The roaches are released and they run for their lives and our amusement. Within 15 seconds of absolute carnage (roaches fly around, woman duck in panic, men try to catch them and show them to their horrified wives) it’s all over.

Needless to say, Roll Roach didn’t make it. I’m sure he’s happy in heaven.

Oz Talk

The Australian Language isn’t English at all, in fact it doesn’t even sound like English. Here’s a couple of common expressions here. Good luck on finding any logic, I know had a hard time finding their meaning.

• Chuck a sickie : take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy
• Dead horse : Tomato sauce
• Dinkum, fair dinkum : true, real, genuine ("I'm a dinkum Aussie"; "is he fair dinkum?")
• Fair suck of the sav! : exclamation of wonder, awe, disbelief (see also "sav")
• Flat out like a lizard drinking : flat out, busy
• Harold Holt, to do the : To bolt. (Also "to do the Harold") N.B. Harold Holt was a former Prime Minister who suddenly drowned while swimming off the coast of Victoria, so there is a double meaning here, quite clever.
• Kangaroos loose in the top paddock : Intellectually inadequate ("he's got kangaroos loose in the top paddock")
• Larrikin : a bloke who is always enjoying himself, harmless prankster... by the way Bloke : man, guy
• Mallee bull, as fit as a : very fit and strong. The Mallee is very arid beef country in Victoria/South Australia
• Mongrel : despicable person

Pissed off clients?

Australia: I love it. In the past 2 days we’ve been at a client’s whose entire System infrastructure had collapsed. A couple of servers in France, a couple in Gove and a few in Brisbane. The problem is very complex and the symptoms are highly unpredictable.
Okay, now if this would have happened in the Netherlands you’d be sitting in a dark room with some very pissed off managers and extremely pissed off IT personal, looking at you in a very pissed off way. They’d be ready to skin you alive. Nobody is happy and everyone is out to screw the other guy.
Here however everyone is smiling and joking. 600 draftsmen not being able to work, Bhaahaha. 800GB of drawing not available HIHIHIHIhiii, a gazillion dollars down the drain and deadlines busted to smithereens: Bwawahaaa.
This does not mean we’re not working hard and of course the pressure is on to resolve issues but it makes it so much easier.

Home, central Home

Our temporary home is the middle of the center which is centralized in the midst of the city’s midpoint. :o). Here are a couple of pics:



1st Bedroom (with a view!)





1st Bathroom (luckyly no view)
Livingroom












2nd Bathroom


2nd Bedroom

Aussie Welcome

How would you be welcomed to a Dutch firm as a new employee? Well, a cup of coffee, a piece of pie. That's about it. Here in Australia they'll grease up the Barbie and open a couple of beers. Indeed: the second day at work was welcome day, and at noon we fired up the Barbie (single most important office equipment unit at my employers). So everybody drops whatever they were doing, grabs a beer and BBQ’s away. Nice salads, bread and pasta.
I talked to most of my colleagues and found out that three of them own powerful motorboats (yeehaaa: I'll be waterskiing this year) one owns a 40 foot yacht (I am sailing, I am sailing...) and one is a Kite Surfer (Yay finally, it's been too long).
A couple of beers later, it was time to visit my first client.

Arrived

I’m going to keep this short and sweet as I have a ton of things to do and am still jetlagged like… like… well I am very jetlagged.
A horribly long trip, I have no other word for it… horrible. Apparently we’ve landed in Kuala Lumpur somewhere Saturday, I really can’t tell. Furthermore it seems that we’ve also stopped at Sydney where the last plane is supposed to take off at 23:00. We took off at 22:59.
So now we live in between the Sunshine Coast and Surfers Paradise, not far from Gold Coast and next to Paradise Beach. They call it Brisbey Land and so far it’s fabulous. Really nice indeed. Extremely nice even!
The apartment is amazing. It has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a nice view, a complete kitchen, dining table and best of all: it’s right in the middle of the city. To top it off, the fridge was stocked with food and beverages when we arrived Saturday night (very late). I’ll post some pictures soon to give you an impression. Too bad we’re staying here only 1 month.
O yeah, Brisbane does not have daylight saving, so even the city is more to the east than Sydney, we’re still an hour earlier. Which means it’s light at 04:50 and the sun is up at 05:05.

Invitation in code

Okay,
This is the invitation I sent to my collegues. It's in Dutch and those who read Dutch: good luck decyphering it.

Beste gildebroeders en ambtsbroeders,

Wij percipiëren thans een heuse exodus, nu niet één paladijn u zal apostaseren, maar twee. Dit ´fait accompli´ zal bij u voorzeker een defaitistische, mismoedige en morose gemoedsgesteldheid teweegbrengen. Voorwaar, wij hopen niet dat deze revelatie u in, vergeef ons de uitdrukking, blijheid of een hallelujastemming brengt. Dit zou ons immers perpetueel bedroeven. Desniettegenstaande het vorige en om dysforie in euforie te transformeren, inviteren wij u, met alle soorten van genoegen, bij een libatie ter gelegenheid van onze afmars.

De opulente en potentate gezagsdragers onzer myriade verschaften ons met een importante veelheid aan pegulanten. Dit laatste, gesuppleerd met een complement van onze bezoldiging, stelt ons in staat u te vergasten in een taveerne, alwaar men zich kan laven aan een significante hoeveelheid gerstenat, spraakwater, geestrijk vocht en druivennat.

Wij indiceren dat u in het slotcadens van dit memorandum raadgeving vindt, rakend aan de accurate ´terminus ad quen´ evenals het oord van het culminatiepunt. Tot slot suppliëren wij u geen plenums, convents of pourparlers te arrangeren in de ochtendstond van de posterieure dag, dit, betrachtend mogelijk considerabel hoofdleed en geestelijke absentie.

Hoogachtend,

Idiots and Maniacs

The stress of moving, the social duties, lack of sleep and assuming decisions made are taking their toll. On a usual day I am steady as a rock in a sea of tranquility, but NOT today!
Today I consider anyone driver slower than me a complete idiot and anyone driving faster an utter maniac. In my rearview mirror I saw two of these maniacs trying to overtake me. ‘Thou shalt not pass’ I heard myself say and I tried to keep up with them. In vain… Frustrated and very pissed I saw a Porsche drawing near in my rearview mirror. ‘Thou shalt not PASS!’ I screamed out so loud the lady in the car next to me must have heard: she looked little worried. With foam on my lips and sweaty palms I engaged pursuit. Unfortunately the car I was driving has absolutely no chance in hell of ever catching up with a Porsche. I chose not to defy logic by trying to catch a sports car with a family car and returned to my natural state of steadiness. Next time I encounter a Porche he’ll eat roadside I promised myself grinding my teeth.

Complicated agenda.

We try to avoid the void we still call home and we manage pretty well actually: We leave in 9 days and this is what’s left to do: 4x to the restaurant, 3 parties, leave one weekend as lovers and one evening with grandma. Unfortunately we live in the Netherlands where most bills are settled the Dutch way. (going Dutch, rings a bell?) so I should be completely broke and utterly poor just before my flight leaves. I am pretty sure they have pasta and peanut butter in Australia so I should be fine for the first months. Besides, I hear the weather is quite good this time of year, so I’ll trade a comfortable hotel room for a cardboard box by the beach any day.

Moving stuff

Everything we own is now at my father’s; neatly stowed away in boxes. My back is broken in three places, muscles ache in places I didn’t know exist, I’ve lost a pint of blood and my general condition is poor. “All moving is war” as one can read in the book the art of moving: Sun Tzu.

My house is now like the inside of an empty carton of milk. White walls, white ceiling and absolutely nothing in it except for our window to the world (TV) and a bed. Fortunately my wife was kind enough to treat me with a massage. Still, I don’t want to do that again this year. Oh yeah: I’d probably be a drooling mess if it wasn’t for my good friend Flipse who helped me out moving our stuff! Thanks for the help mate! I owe you one.