The whales are still here

It's still whale season here at Brisbane and as a little gift to my wife we went to see them.
The whale were a bit uncooperative the first hour, they didn't seem to care too much about us and kept a 100 meter distance.
Suddenly 2 adults joined the group and we got the grand-show, the whale smashed its tail on the water about 50 times and breached (jumped) twice. Wwwoooooaaaawww.

A new Passport

It's that time again, passport renewal time. This time in Brisbane Australia. The sun is up and it's beautiful day, I smile while walking to the consulate and the people smile back at me. I walk into the consulate, a very small office.
To be read through Dutch eyes:

- Haauw arg joe sseur?
- Not too bad (translates: really freaking good mate)

- Vie arg ferry biezie, joe must veetabit.
- You're all right (translates: you bloody tosser, I hate waiting)

- Jess, zèr arg toe piepel veeting
- Two? (translates: what's this daft git all about: 5 minutes and I'll be out of here, yay!)

After about 45 minutes. (yes, 45 minutes...)

- Hoez nekst?
- That'd be me! (translates: anybody cuts in line, dies right here, right now)

- Joe vant a niejoe paspoort?
- That's right. (translates: well observed, Sherlock)

- Joe must let make a foto.
- Must let make? (translates: Oh boy, this monkey doesn't speak English)
- Jes, must let make!

After about 20 minutes while waiting for my freaking pictures.

- voed you filin zis formulier?
- okay. (translates: do I have a freaking choice?)

Another 20 minutes later

- sseur?
- Yes? (translates- what the flip-flying-fuck have I been waiting 20 minutes for?)

- zèt vilbie 150$
- 150$ ?! (translates: 150 bucks! you bloodsucking maggot!)

- jes, ent joe vil hève to veet srie wieks.
- Three weeks?! (translates- fuck off mate, get real!)

- I hoop joe hèff a koed deej!
- Thanks (translates- I hope you don't, you bastard)

Needless to say that the Brisbane honorary consult is a old wanker who gets paid too much and who should have retired 130 years ago.
I have to go to Philadephia in a month, so I really hope my passport comes through by then.

Capital City

So why does Australia have this silly capital city called canberra?

Well here we go. Melbourne was the capital of Australia for quite a while, but the Sydneysiders (inhabitants of Sydney) as they are said: "hey guys, our city is greater, better, bigger and just lovely. We're the Capital!". to which the Melbournians replied: "bugger that and bugger off mate, we're it, and you're not." The Sydneysiders insisted and so did the Melbournians. This stand off lasted for quite a while and suited the Melbournians just fine. ("gni gni gni", they said, "we're still it").

But then a Solomoneske bloke said: "well if you're not going to play nice, the new capital shall be: Canberra". "Canberra?!" The Melbournians and Sydneysides yelled out. "But that's just a village." And the Melbournians added: "that Village is in New South Wales, just like Sydney, that's not fair. We should find another village in Victoria -Melbournes state- and name that our new capital".
The Canberrans, quick to realize the exploitability of the situation, said: "why not create a mini state or territory around us?". And so it happened: the Australian capital is neither Sydney, nor Melbourne, neither does it sit in New South Wales or victory. The Austrlian Capital Territory was created around Canberra and is now (since 1988 a self governing entity).

Melbourne:	Down one Capital City status
Victoria:	Down one Capital City
Austrlia:	Gained one territory (Australian Capital territory)
Sydney:	Gained nothing, lost nothing
New South Wales:	Down lots of surface to a new territory
Canberra:	Big winner, from idiot village to Capital City.
World:	Up a good laugh at this silly story.

Motorcycle license

Well, a few people are not going to be happy reading this: We got our motorcycle licenses! Yaaaay.
After a few lessons we went for our test and now we are deemed competent.

So after a few hours of fooling around on a parking, we take the road.
It starts out pretty bad: one of the students stalls, the driving instructor moves over to stop to wait and Emmanuelle ignores his feverish gestures to stop also, and continues down the road. I can see the instructor is dissapointed.

Now: this is what should probably scare you: we took 2 hours of theory, 8 hours of practical and 'hey-presto', one 'unlimited' bike license each.

I had been told that you'd probably get your license with a box of corn-flakes, but this is really quick. Cool, so now, all I need is a shit load of money to buy Emmanuelle the bike she likes (a BMW) and buy me a Suziki.

Kiwis and Kangaroos

The Australians (Kangaroos) and Kiwis (New Zealanders) have something of a discord between them, not only shown during Rugby matches.Its the same thing as the Norwegians and Swedes have or Dutch and Belgians. One has a distinct feeling of superiority over the other and the other feels that the first are cheap, loud and egoistic. Very funny and all in good fun. For example, if an Australian does not pay a round of beers when its his shout, the Kiwis will say he's doing an Australian Haka. (Picture the Australian searching for his wallet in his backpockets, then his frontpockets, then his breast pockets in a New Zealand Haka style.

However, a very offending animation has just been released that threatens the very foundation of southern hermisphere peace.This animation depicts the very thing that Kangaroos laugh about when making fun of kiwis, its aimed mainly at the Kiwi accent. This animation almost made me wet my pants. It is very funny.Enjoy brew!

River Festival,

An armada of ships makes its way up the river. Thousands flock toward the river shores. IT's River Festival!!

Today there are free BBQ's and beer is shared among friends.
We're having beers and Chips at the StoryBridge Hotel and planes are flying over in formation. At dusk we make our way to the Kangaroo Point bar where a couple of friends await us.The fireworks go off on 5 different barges across the river, off the highest towers and off the bridge. I have never seen so much fireworks going off at once! It lasted for about 30 minutes and at the end a F1-11 swoops in from the sky, flies low over the river and Dumps & Burns his fuel.The sound was as strong as the force was strong with Luke Skywalker.
A lovely evening for sure.