Hanoi Madness

Hanoi traffic is not something I was prepared for, Egypt is bad, Turkey is bad, Hanoi is in a class of its own. Couple of things I’ve seen/lived through:

1. 40 km/h on a moped is not very fast; 40 km/h on a moped going the wrong way with incoming traffic is very fast.
2. 6 people in a car is many; 6 people on a motor bike is ... many.
3. Crossing a 6 lane road in Brisbane is doable; crossing a 6 lane road in Hanoi is unfeasible.
4. In Hanoi 3 moped drivers can carry what will take 2 trucks in Australia.
5. Sleeping in a car is easy, sleeping on a moped is... apparently easy.
6. 20 cm between cars at 60 km/h is close, in Hanoi they can fit a moped in there (with 3 people on it)

Crossing the road is done as follows: You take a deep breath and walk at a constant pace. The stream of vehicles will flow around you, like a stream around a rock. The trick is to stay relaxed and trust the vehicles to miss you. Best not to look to the incoming traffic.

Off we go!

Our trip is going to be fast paced trek through Vietnam and Cambodia. The plan is to see the major sights and go native in about 15 days. Travel methods: Car, Plane, Train, Tuk Tuk, Boat, Fast Boat, Motor bike, foot and ULM.

Looks like a challenging trip? You betcha...

KL, Hanoi, Sapa, Danang, Hoi An, HCM city, Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, KL and Home

Blue Marlin Club.

As soon as we're all on board the captain guns it to the deep, about 1.5 hours out on the ocean. This is where the illusive Blue Marlin roams.

The 150$ lures trail 10 to 40 meters behind the boat. The reason for them being so close is that a fish will be attracted by the noise of the motor, will have a look and then hopefully have a go at one of the lures.

And now we wait, it is 07:30, so time for a beer. At 7:35 a giant body throws itself at one of the lures, misses; has another go, misses again and then... hits mine!

Before I get the chance to sit and strap in, it's taken about 400 meters of line. I put the brakes on and feel the full force of 250 pounds of pissed off marlin.

Reeling in the massive animal is hard work. My arm gives after 10 mins and I need help. David is all too happy and helps me out.

It's a magnificent Blue Marlin, about 250 pounds. We have to let it go quickly or it will die.

Still shaking with adrenaline, I grab a cigar to celebrate and before it's smoked: ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz... Emma's line goes off! Emma has a good look at the monster jumping and tail-walking and decides to let Nigel reel this one in... it's about 300 pounds! We catch a Tuna and a good sized Mahi-Mahi as well, we keep 'm for the Barbie.

Awesome!

Flow Rider

They've come up with a new toy. Basically a jet pump blasting water up a ramp at 50 kph. The cool thing is that you can actually ride it like it's a never ending wave. 

Since I do have some prior surfing/wakeboarding experience, it turns out to be quite easy.

1,000 dollar steak

As most species in this universe are well aware off: the very best steaks are found on the planet earth, in Rockhampton, the Great Western Hotel to be exact. The exception -of course- is the 'Bos Taurus'-species, which against common sense breeds prolifically and thus provides a steady supply of perpendicularly cuts of muscle fibre we know as steaks.

The steaks taste very much like fish don't and are a lot more delicious than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking that they're pretty delicious to start with. I checked it quite thoroughly and am quite sure of this statement. Proof, I guess, is that we flew 800 kms north just to get one.

The restaurant holds a rodeo ground, the lifework of an overzealous taxonomist with at least 15 bull-heads hanging from the walls and a giant grill. The owner came up with the concept basically to annoy vegetarians, who's evolutionary state -in his view- is stuck between a pressure cooker and carrot munching rabbits.

After such a fantastic meal, there is nothing left to do but celebrate summer in Queensland and have a daytrip to the Keppel Islands. 

Turning into a moron

Previously tolerable parents turn into complete morons trying to communicate with an 18 months old. A good example is our prodigal son yesterday yelling "biatch, biatch, biiiiaatch!" while pointing at his feet. For parents whose brains have turned into mulch, of-course, we understand 'Pied, Pied' which is French for “foot”.

What Kieran really meant was: "Bitch, I'll kick your ass with my right foot, if you don't get me a cookie now." But we are parents and misunderstand Kieran's theme.

To me, this is an early warning sign of what's about to come:

Moderately intelligent parents with semi-intellectual quasi-philosophical pretentions who normally can be above average debaters and generally good discussion partners turn into absolute social-psychopaths, completely unable to speak 2 sentences without mentioning their offspring. The problem is, of course, that discretion no longer appears in the parent's thought patterns.

So they openly talk about:

- the fact that their child woke them up, brutally humping the teddy bear. (soo cute)

- the fact that their child blasted a brownie in the swimming pool. (oh my.)

- the fact that their child viciously spread a candy-bar over 12 square meters of paint and carpet. (naughty, naughty, naughty).

Listening to the remarkably dull stories I think to myself: lucky I'm with Emma, I think we'll be able to prevent this brain-rot by staying active and doing the things we do. Although my last 3 posts mentioned Kieran... O my god... and so does this one... O noooo, IT’S HAPPENING...

Australia Day 2011

Born and bred Australians, Tourists and immigrants celebrate why it's great to be in Australia today and toast to the lucky country.

Today there is no better place than to be on the water in the Sydney harbour. Except... drum roll... in a helicopter above the ferrython race. The ferrython is a race between 4 of the ferries that usually help the rat-racers with their daily commute.

Yep, my credit card as now attained the critical mass state and is about to go into a complete melt-down, but I did get a private helicopter charter... on Australia day... above the Sydney harbour.

As you can see Kieran disapproves of this flight and can be heard over the mighty roar of the engine. Every boat in the New South Whales has got to be here.

Emma's pleasantly surprised when I tell her that the day isn't over as we hurry to one of the cruise ships to go on the harbour. It's really hot, but fortunately there's a cloud-cover. A very good day, indeed.

Brisbane Floods

Thanks to all that have mailed, Skyped, MSN'ed, phoned, hyvesed, facebooked, faxed, texted us. It seems that world news has picked up on the situation here in Brisbane.


So here's an update. It is pretty bad down here, but perhaps not as bad as some of the Media will have us believe. Our Home is high and dry so we will not suffer from the floods. I have 2 colleagues whose homes are currently wet and that will get much worse today and tomorrow when the Brisbane river is expected to peak.
The amount of rain fallen is simply unheard off, up to 300 liters of water per square meter in 24 hours.


Thanks for thinking about us.

Beached as... in Agnes Water

Whoa! I think I have seen the most intense rain ever. It's been raining for days and days but today tops it all. To give you an idea: Go and stand under the shower, crank up the pressure so that it hurts. That's a lot of water right? Now do that for 16 hours straight.

Just to give you an idea: an area of France and Germany is currently flooded and we're in the middle of it. The town of Agnes Waters has 2 roads.

Road 1 has a Bridge with 8 meters of water over it. So that's: Standing on the Bridge you'd have to swim up 8 meters to get a breath of air.

Road 2 has "only" half a meter of water over it, but it goes for miles and miles.

Basically we're stuck in a 4 star resort with pools and beach. There are worse places to be at this time. 200.000 people have suffered damage varying from losing a car to losing a home. It's pretty bad.

What really intrigues me is that a couple of months ago a few specialists predicted this weather. They made a pretty convincing case about la Nina (a sub effect of el Niño). Their predictions so far have been spot-on.

Singapore

I'm Working in Singapore this week, so I figured why not try my luck at the poker tables in the biggest Hotel in the neighborhood.

Okay, at the entry I get refused because I'm carrying a plastic bag. Right, I say to myself, no worries, these Singaporeans are easily scared, and after all, this is a very dangerous looking plastic bag, I could easily choke 12 people with it before they catch me. I can see why Plastic bags containing a t-shirt is considered extremely dangerous.

After 30 minutes of waiting for 10 people to hand in their bags it's my turn and I'm getting impatient. Okay, off I go to the entry...

Nope not yet: there is a 50 people queue that is moving very slowly forward. After 15 minutes I make it to the Casino floor.

It's huge, thousands of people could get in, but there are only a few hundred. Right, keen to play poker I ask where the poker pit is at to one of the employees.

- Mate, where can I find the poker tables

- ah? Pokah no hee.

- What's that mate, no Poker?

- djes djes, pokah no hee.

- This is a Casino, right?

- djes.

- Okay well, where the bar?

- No Bah hee.

- Say what? No bar? wtf man?

- No Bah hee, no alcohol allad, only watta.

- Right, that's it, bugger this I'm outta here. 

So after having to wait another 20 minutes to get my leathal plastic bag back, I decide never to come back and take the elevator to the roof. The Infinity pool and sky park are stunning and I enjoy a beer staring at Singapore.

Grandma's visit.

Yep, after, both aunties and grandpa it was grandma's turn to make the gruelling trip down under to visit. We took her to see the special Australian fauna and showed her some places we like to visit every once and a while.

Of course we took the opportunity to use our god-send babysitter and had Kieran taken care off.

The weather wasn't the best, as it hasn't been a really great summer so far. But then again, getting fried in 35 degrees isn't exactly fun either.

Just an update

The summer is here and Queensland is getting warm. Kieran knows the way to the pool and everyday walks to the gate and yells 'Dah-Dah' while hopefully looking at us. The pool is just the right temperature so we decide to take a swim after a round of tennis. Yrjan sent us some water wings, but Kieran will not give us a smile while waring them. (Will get you those pics, I promiss!).

The race that stops the nation

In your average country a statutory holiday, Christmas or other significant National events have a serious connotation. In Australia, they’ve come up with a race; a horse race to be exact.

I you’re not from Australia it’s impossible to imagine why In Victoria a horse race could be a 4 day event and the rest nation comes to a grinding hold just for a few minutes. Drinking is required and indeed mandatory before, during and after the race. It’s a heavy 3200 meter race and there aren’t many people who aren’t rolled into a betting pool, syndicate or office sweep.

This year I am betting on Tokai Trick, with a 1 to 96 ratio, not a good horse but I could walk away with 500 dollars. And of course  I lose a full 5 dollars and recommend to have the horse recommended for shish kebab.

Just a couple of pics

Enjoy the warmth

RiverFire. Brisbane Fireworks

Some of the beautiful hidden places up north

Cheeky kookaburra 

Beauty down south

Billabong Snow Master

Like all the French people, Emma was born being able to ski before she could walk. You will not believe this, but there are some pretty decent skiing grounds here in Australia and I'm not talking about the discarded lump of rock down south they call Tasmania.
My Wife flew down with the 0600 flight to Canberra ACT just for a weekend of skiing. Awesome snow, friendly people and some good gear is all she needs to carve some excellent paths down the hills.

Kieran first year (and a bit)

The little bundle of joy that sleeps, yawns and smiles has morphed into a hyperactive mini-rhinoceros with monkey traits. Recently, Kieran’s new mission in life is to climb anything higher than him. This usually triggers a primordial reaction where mum and dad explain patiently to the child that it is dangerous. We’ve given up on this as this mild reprimand is usually met with vicious yelping and –Kieran’s specialty- head banging against the floor to demonstrate his disagreement.

I have to review my conviction that parents have any influence on the child’s development. Basically we’re here for the ride, till the kid is old enough to leave the house. But that’s okay... 

The weather curse

I am well known for my disposition to bring unwanted weather wherever I go. A few examples would be:
Kite surfing? When I show up the kites fall from the sky with no wind at all, or the wind is a full hurricane force 11. My kite surfing mates have often said "bad weather Bassie".
Namibia desert? If I wander into a desert where it just doesn't rain... ever... guess what happens when I show up?

This weekend I decided to organise a very special weekend for my very special wife. Completely lost in enthusiasm I forgot all about my curse and organised the most weather sensitive activities you could imagine. A private Champagne Balloon flight over Byron Bay and go and see the dolphins up close or dive at Julian Rock.
Well, with gale forecasts and 200mm rails predicted, this of course was cancelled swiftly.
I had reserved the very best table at the very best restaurant in Byron bay, which turned out to be the very worst seat in these weather conditions. I am fortunate to have a wife who sees the bright side of life and we had a good laugh.

Just another day in Sydney

Yep I'm in Sydney again.
I've been pretty much commuting weekly in the past 10 weeks. I come here so often I almost forgot what a fantastic city it is. Sydney scores very high on the best city list consistently and it's clear why. When the planes flies over the city, make sure you get a window seat on the left side of the plane: you'll see the incredible lay-out of the city.
The weather here is nice this time of the year. Tourists wear thongs, t-shirts and shorts while the Locals have a sweater or a light jacket.
Today I am out for a steak. I am carnivore without shame and there aren't many animals I haven't eaten. Today it will be cow. I can chose between a thousand different cuisines, ranging from japanese+french fusion to Lebanese and from Chichuan to pub-food. The streets are full of every type of person from every corner of the earth and there's music from every pub.

Yep, I really like Sydney.

Tongan Politics

Tonga has very rich fishing grounds that the likes of Japan and China would love to get their hands on. We all know that if fishing rights are assigned to either country, Tongan waters will be pillaged within a few short years. Japan tries a friendly way: providing Tonga with 50 million dollars of financial aid yearly. Japan and Tonga have no cultural or historical ties so this funding must have a purpose.

China however has a very different approach.

The Chinese government funds poor Chinese students to open shops all over the islands. The Chinese cheat import taxes by fudging the invoice numbers, and then sell waaay below normal prices. It is no wonder that the Chinese have taken over all but a very few shops in a very, very short time. Now they are moving into more advanced parts of the economy: infrastructure, hospitality, building and even agriculture. There is no doubt in my mind this is a coordinated and very well executed effort aimed at gaining enough leverage to force the Tongan government to release the fishing grounds or other assets.

The fact that Tongan politicians are corrupt and the upper-class called "the nobles" are very busy filling their own pockets doesn't help. For example Sea cucumber fishing rights can't be sold to foreigners by the state, so they are given to the Nobles who then sell them for about 150K to the Chinese. The Chinese waste no time sending in their Sea cucumber fishers or delegate the task to locals. The Government gets zero dollars for this and Tonga loses.

I spoke with someone from the World Bank, a representative for UN cultural research, a local self made man and a few small business owners. And one theme resonated between them: this government is in dire need of some good political consultants who must help getting Tonga back on track.

It is unfortunate that the King of Tonga has a deep liking for alcohol. So much so, that it inhibits his ability to adequately govern the country. The King will relinquish his absolute power next year to the government but the damage is irreparable. Corruption has taken hold of the island under the sun. For example most of the 24 million Euros made available by the European Union for infrastructure works have disappeared. The remaining dollars are paid to a Chinese company who has flown in their own people and construction tools. So no-one gains anything from the investment but a few fat-cats.

I'll put my money on social pressures mounting and an explosion of violence like we saw in 2002 where half the city centre was burned down.

The Tale of Emmanuelle and the baby whale

While speeding from Island to island in our speedboat we see another boat close to a couple of whales. We wait until the boat leaves and come closer.

It is a Female and her baby. As we had learned we slowly approach them until the whales are accustomed to us. We can see the baby drinking milk, so we know they’re at ease.
I tell Emma that this is the chance of a lifetime. I have to pilot the boat, but someone has got to go and swim with the little fella. Emma hesitates one second, after all it's getting dark and swimming all alone in the ocean at dusk is not highly recommended, but then jumps in! (edit: it seems that a tourist from Denmark got bitten by a shark just last week while swimming in Tonga with the Whales).

What happened next was amazing: the baby whale stayed away just far enough so that Emma couldn't it underwater and then turned straight at Emma. Circled Emma a bit as if to say hello, I'm a whale, what are you?
The whale is tiny, no longer than 3 meters. It must be brand new, a few days old maybe. Emma kept circling and looking at it for a while; she even took some awesome pictures.
Mum was never far away and kept a very close eye on me and on Emma but allowed the interaction.
Back on the boat Emma was shaking with emotion, I could see she was touched by the encounter. The fact that such a magnificent beast allows its young to observe, interact and explore is just out of this world.