Top end of Down-under

Darwin is like nothing on earth. If a cyclone doesn't blow your house to the other side of the bay, or a crocodile doesn't chose to stay in your private pool, or the hot and wet season doesn’t drive you completely and utterly out of your mind, or the box jelly fish doesn't sting you, then you’ve had a good year.

I managed to convince my bank to extend Credit Card limit and with good reason. Darwin is freaking expensive! Some of the day tours are well within the realm of exorbitant. We chose to view the famous Jim Jim falls from a plane as the roads are still closed in this season. (Catch 22 really: once the roads open, Jim Jim falls will not be as mighty as when you can't get there)

So, why go here (or live here) at all? Good question. I guess you’ll have to fly down here to find out. I’ll show you a couple of reasons.

1. The nature is still really wild here.
2. The Saltwater Crocs are something to behold.
3. Kakadu and Arnhem Land are mind bogglingly huge and most of it is untouched.
4. The people have this rugged funny sense of humour.
5. The fishing is in a class of its own.

New Caledonia

This week I’m in New Caledonia for work. The only flight available was on a Saturday, so I had to spend a Weekend, all alone, on a tropical island. First of all, the food is absolutely beautiful, the weather is fantastic and I have a 5 star hotel. Looks like a good start to a good week.

I decide to go diving with the local operator. We dive at the Amedee Island. It is a marine reserve filled with fish. I see my very first Eagle Rays flashing by. They are very fast and always seem to be playful. A school of grey sharks are interested in us a come in for a closer look, they size us up and decide not to have a go at us.

And then, it happens: a giant Manta ray, about 5 meters is hovering just above the sea floor. There is a very strong current so I have to hold on to the rocks. I make as little bubbles as possible and slowly claw closer to the enormous animal. I have to breathe and the bubbles scare it away. With 2 strong flicks of it wings is whooshes off, but! It makes a giant full circle and I can see it’s going to come back exactly where it was... I quickly take a few deep breaths; hold my breath while clawing to the exact location where it was earlier... aaand there it is, just above me about 50 cms. Like a giant blanket! The other divers look at me, slightly worried, slightly jealous. I extend my arm and touch it. It feels like the inside of your cheek, but you can feel clearly the strong muscles just below the skin. I now have to breathe again, and I expect it to fly away, but it doesn’t.

Cambodia

We make our way up to Phnom Penh over the Mekong by fast boat. After having eaten noodles every day for a while, we decide to indulge and go to the best restaurant in town. Emma has certainly planned this trip to perfection. After the bus ride from hell, where we were overtaking a car, that was overtaking a truck, that was overtaking motorcycle, that was overtaking a cyclist that was overtaking a cow (no shit!), we arrive in Siem Reap.
We’ve met a couple who lived in Siem Reap for a year and they recommended us Yut as the best guide in town. Yut made us visit what he believes are the 4 most interesting temples around Siem Reap.
I guess we feel what a million people before us felt: this is pretty amazing stuff. Some of the temples are over 1000 years old. The level of detail of the carvings is stunning. Our guide lets us climb where ever we want, the site isn’t sealed off and you can go everywhere your courage will allow you. 
Emma gets to fly over the region in an ULM and spots temples and the (not) floating villages.

Vietnam 2

After beautiful Hoi Ahn Ho Chi Min city, or Saigon as the locals still prefer to call it. Emma has a friend here from her Barbados days and decides to have a serious wine session. I decide to leave them drinking and jump on a Moped-taxi. Zipping through dense Saigon traffic at night having drunk a few beers is good fun and somewhat surreal, especially when my driver decides to do a U-Turn and go against traffic for a while. The next night we sleep somewhere on the banks of the Mekong at some bloke’s house. (home stay). Then, one evening sitting at the table we are suddenly raided by 20 students, they want to understand the tourists as they are studying Tourist Consumer Behaviour. Their tactic is to get us talking by feeding us rice wine and beers. We talk for many hours but Emma is still paying for her big night in HCM city with a headache and goes to bed early.

Vietnam 1

To maximize our time and squeeze every last drop of enjoyment out of this trip, we take the night train to Sapa in a very luxurious, private sleeper. Upon arrival, we go straight to the local market and see, chickens, ducks, vegetables, clothes and unfortunate living fish being chopped in half. The rice fields are stunning (the main reason we came here). Our guide, Miss May, knows the best places to eat and drink with the locals and shows us how the local people live their lives.

After a quick night trip south we go to Halong Bay where we sleep on the boat and visit the Caves and go squid fishing. I give Karaoke in Vietnamese a go and everyone has a good laugh at me.

Hanoi Madness

Hanoi traffic is not something I was prepared for, Egypt is bad, Turkey is bad, Hanoi is in a class of its own. Couple of things I’ve seen/lived through:

1. 40 km/h on a moped is not very fast; 40 km/h on a moped going the wrong way with incoming traffic is very fast.
2. 6 people in a car is many; 6 people on a motor bike is ... many.
3. Crossing a 6 lane road in Brisbane is doable; crossing a 6 lane road in Hanoi is unfeasible.
4. In Hanoi 3 moped drivers can carry what will take 2 trucks in Australia.
5. Sleeping in a car is easy, sleeping on a moped is... apparently easy.
6. 20 cm between cars at 60 km/h is close, in Hanoi they can fit a moped in there (with 3 people on it)

Crossing the road is done as follows: You take a deep breath and walk at a constant pace. The stream of vehicles will flow around you, like a stream around a rock. The trick is to stay relaxed and trust the vehicles to miss you. Best not to look to the incoming traffic.

Off we go!

Our trip is going to be fast paced trek through Vietnam and Cambodia. The plan is to see the major sights and go native in about 15 days. Travel methods: Car, Plane, Train, Tuk Tuk, Boat, Fast Boat, Motor bike, foot and ULM.

Looks like a challenging trip? You betcha...

KL, Hanoi, Sapa, Danang, Hoi An, HCM city, Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, KL and Home

Blue Marlin Club.

As soon as we're all on board the captain guns it to the deep, about 1.5 hours out on the ocean. This is where the illusive Blue Marlin roams.

The 150$ lures trail 10 to 40 meters behind the boat. The reason for them being so close is that a fish will be attracted by the noise of the motor, will have a look and then hopefully have a go at one of the lures.

And now we wait, it is 07:30, so time for a beer. At 7:35 a giant body throws itself at one of the lures, misses; has another go, misses again and then... hits mine!

Before I get the chance to sit and strap in, it's taken about 400 meters of line. I put the brakes on and feel the full force of 250 pounds of pissed off marlin.

Reeling in the massive animal is hard work. My arm gives after 10 mins and I need help. David is all too happy and helps me out.

It's a magnificent Blue Marlin, about 250 pounds. We have to let it go quickly or it will die.

Still shaking with adrenaline, I grab a cigar to celebrate and before it's smoked: ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz... Emma's line goes off! Emma has a good look at the monster jumping and tail-walking and decides to let Nigel reel this one in... it's about 300 pounds! We catch a Tuna and a good sized Mahi-Mahi as well, we keep 'm for the Barbie.

Awesome!

Flow Rider

They've come up with a new toy. Basically a jet pump blasting water up a ramp at 50 kph. The cool thing is that you can actually ride it like it's a never ending wave. 

Since I do have some prior surfing/wakeboarding experience, it turns out to be quite easy.

1,000 dollar steak

As most species in this universe are well aware off: the very best steaks are found on the planet earth, in Rockhampton, the Great Western Hotel to be exact. The exception -of course- is the 'Bos Taurus'-species, which against common sense breeds prolifically and thus provides a steady supply of perpendicularly cuts of muscle fibre we know as steaks.

The steaks taste very much like fish don't and are a lot more delicious than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking that they're pretty delicious to start with. I checked it quite thoroughly and am quite sure of this statement. Proof, I guess, is that we flew 800 kms north just to get one.

The restaurant holds a rodeo ground, the lifework of an overzealous taxonomist with at least 15 bull-heads hanging from the walls and a giant grill. The owner came up with the concept basically to annoy vegetarians, who's evolutionary state -in his view- is stuck between a pressure cooker and carrot munching rabbits.

After such a fantastic meal, there is nothing left to do but celebrate summer in Queensland and have a daytrip to the Keppel Islands. 

Turning into a moron

Previously tolerable parents turn into complete morons trying to communicate with an 18 months old. A good example is our prodigal son yesterday yelling "biatch, biatch, biiiiaatch!" while pointing at his feet. For parents whose brains have turned into mulch, of-course, we understand 'Pied, Pied' which is French for “foot”.

What Kieran really meant was: "Bitch, I'll kick your ass with my right foot, if you don't get me a cookie now." But we are parents and misunderstand Kieran's theme.

To me, this is an early warning sign of what's about to come:

Moderately intelligent parents with semi-intellectual quasi-philosophical pretentions who normally can be above average debaters and generally good discussion partners turn into absolute social-psychopaths, completely unable to speak 2 sentences without mentioning their offspring. The problem is, of course, that discretion no longer appears in the parent's thought patterns.

So they openly talk about:

- the fact that their child woke them up, brutally humping the teddy bear. (soo cute)

- the fact that their child blasted a brownie in the swimming pool. (oh my.)

- the fact that their child viciously spread a candy-bar over 12 square meters of paint and carpet. (naughty, naughty, naughty).

Listening to the remarkably dull stories I think to myself: lucky I'm with Emma, I think we'll be able to prevent this brain-rot by staying active and doing the things we do. Although my last 3 posts mentioned Kieran... O my god... and so does this one... O noooo, IT’S HAPPENING...

Australia Day 2011

Born and bred Australians, Tourists and immigrants celebrate why it's great to be in Australia today and toast to the lucky country.

Today there is no better place than to be on the water in the Sydney harbour. Except... drum roll... in a helicopter above the ferrython race. The ferrython is a race between 4 of the ferries that usually help the rat-racers with their daily commute.

Yep, my credit card as now attained the critical mass state and is about to go into a complete melt-down, but I did get a private helicopter charter... on Australia day... above the Sydney harbour.

As you can see Kieran disapproves of this flight and can be heard over the mighty roar of the engine. Every boat in the New South Whales has got to be here.

Emma's pleasantly surprised when I tell her that the day isn't over as we hurry to one of the cruise ships to go on the harbour. It's really hot, but fortunately there's a cloud-cover. A very good day, indeed.

Brisbane Floods

Thanks to all that have mailed, Skyped, MSN'ed, phoned, hyvesed, facebooked, faxed, texted us. It seems that world news has picked up on the situation here in Brisbane.


So here's an update. It is pretty bad down here, but perhaps not as bad as some of the Media will have us believe. Our Home is high and dry so we will not suffer from the floods. I have 2 colleagues whose homes are currently wet and that will get much worse today and tomorrow when the Brisbane river is expected to peak.
The amount of rain fallen is simply unheard off, up to 300 liters of water per square meter in 24 hours.


Thanks for thinking about us.

Beached as... in Agnes Water

Whoa! I think I have seen the most intense rain ever. It's been raining for days and days but today tops it all. To give you an idea: Go and stand under the shower, crank up the pressure so that it hurts. That's a lot of water right? Now do that for 16 hours straight.

Just to give you an idea: an area of France and Germany is currently flooded and we're in the middle of it. The town of Agnes Waters has 2 roads.

Road 1 has a Bridge with 8 meters of water over it. So that's: Standing on the Bridge you'd have to swim up 8 meters to get a breath of air.

Road 2 has "only" half a meter of water over it, but it goes for miles and miles.

Basically we're stuck in a 4 star resort with pools and beach. There are worse places to be at this time. 200.000 people have suffered damage varying from losing a car to losing a home. It's pretty bad.

What really intrigues me is that a couple of months ago a few specialists predicted this weather. They made a pretty convincing case about la Nina (a sub effect of el Niño). Their predictions so far have been spot-on.

Singapore

I'm Working in Singapore this week, so I figured why not try my luck at the poker tables in the biggest Hotel in the neighborhood.

Okay, at the entry I get refused because I'm carrying a plastic bag. Right, I say to myself, no worries, these Singaporeans are easily scared, and after all, this is a very dangerous looking plastic bag, I could easily choke 12 people with it before they catch me. I can see why Plastic bags containing a t-shirt is considered extremely dangerous.

After 30 minutes of waiting for 10 people to hand in their bags it's my turn and I'm getting impatient. Okay, off I go to the entry...

Nope not yet: there is a 50 people queue that is moving very slowly forward. After 15 minutes I make it to the Casino floor.

It's huge, thousands of people could get in, but there are only a few hundred. Right, keen to play poker I ask where the poker pit is at to one of the employees.

- Mate, where can I find the poker tables

- ah? Pokah no hee.

- What's that mate, no Poker?

- djes djes, pokah no hee.

- This is a Casino, right?

- djes.

- Okay well, where the bar?

- No Bah hee.

- Say what? No bar? wtf man?

- No Bah hee, no alcohol allad, only watta.

- Right, that's it, bugger this I'm outta here. 

So after having to wait another 20 minutes to get my leathal plastic bag back, I decide never to come back and take the elevator to the roof. The Infinity pool and sky park are stunning and I enjoy a beer staring at Singapore.

Grandma's visit.

Yep, after, both aunties and grandpa it was grandma's turn to make the gruelling trip down under to visit. We took her to see the special Australian fauna and showed her some places we like to visit every once and a while.

Of course we took the opportunity to use our god-send babysitter and had Kieran taken care off.

The weather wasn't the best, as it hasn't been a really great summer so far. But then again, getting fried in 35 degrees isn't exactly fun either.

Just an update

The summer is here and Queensland is getting warm. Kieran knows the way to the pool and everyday walks to the gate and yells 'Dah-Dah' while hopefully looking at us. The pool is just the right temperature so we decide to take a swim after a round of tennis. Yrjan sent us some water wings, but Kieran will not give us a smile while waring them. (Will get you those pics, I promiss!).

The race that stops the nation

In your average country a statutory holiday, Christmas or other significant National events have a serious connotation. In Australia, they’ve come up with a race; a horse race to be exact.

I you’re not from Australia it’s impossible to imagine why In Victoria a horse race could be a 4 day event and the rest nation comes to a grinding hold just for a few minutes. Drinking is required and indeed mandatory before, during and after the race. It’s a heavy 3200 meter race and there aren’t many people who aren’t rolled into a betting pool, syndicate or office sweep.

This year I am betting on Tokai Trick, with a 1 to 96 ratio, not a good horse but I could walk away with 500 dollars. And of course  I lose a full 5 dollars and recommend to have the horse recommended for shish kebab.